I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
