thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
