i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
