I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
This toilet bowl is my home.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize