Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
