on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
one might say we're banned from that church
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize