I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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