Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
