do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
