he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
