This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize