she is the kim kardashian of front butts
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
