im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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