Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
