Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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