I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
