I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
