Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
