i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
