There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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