Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
