I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
