I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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