its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
