don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
