First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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