Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize