And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
