id be glad to
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
