8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize