He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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