So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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