Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
