when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
