they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sext me about skeletons
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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