I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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