Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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