bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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