I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
