i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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