I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
