just tell him i said nine months
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
