gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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