his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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