My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it hurts more in the daytime
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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