I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
