my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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