There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
