yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
