your room smells of hookers.
And success
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
