i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
