And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
