I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
