we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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