Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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