Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
