I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i now understand why vodka
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
