There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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