I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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