dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
