wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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