I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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