im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
