I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
