We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
