Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
