we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
