i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
