Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My feet surprised me
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