you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize