gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
if only i could text you this smell
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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