We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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