So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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