You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
why do cheetos always look like penises
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
