so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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