And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
