I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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