one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
