worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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